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@momsbeforeandafter

The things the jokes are about — good versions, actually reviewed. Amazon links open on Amazon.

PRINTABLE · FROM US
Before Kids / After Kids weekly planner
The honest weekly spread + chaos checklist. Instant PDF, print forever (US Letter + A4).
Get the planner →
Stanley 40oz Quencher Tumbler
The water bottle that became your whole personality. No regrets.
on Amazon →
Kids' Classic Crocs
Ugly, indestructible, and the only shoe they'll agree to wear.
on Amazon →
Toddler Velcro Sneakers
They'll fight the shoes. You'll win. Velcro helps.
on Amazon →
Hatch Rest Sound Machine + Night Light
The white noise standing between you and a 4am wake-up.
on Amazon →
Munchkin Snack Catchers (2-pack)
114 of my posts are about snacks. These ones don't hit the floor.
on Amazon →
Crayola Ultra-Clean Washable Markers
'Washable' is the most optimistic word in the English language.
on Amazon →
Mr. Clean Magic Erasers
For the mural on your freshly painted hallway.
on Amazon →
Bluey Jumbo Plush
You know every episode by heart. Might as well own the dog.
on Amazon →
ezpz Happy Mat (suction plate)
The only thing standing between dinner and the floor.
on Amazon →
JLab JBuddies Kids Headphones
So you can hear your own thoughts on the drive.
on Amazon →
Galaxy Star Projector
Turns the ceiling into a galaxy and bedtime into a maybe.
on Amazon →
Nugget Play Couch
A couch that becomes a fort, a slide, and your new floor plan.
on Amazon →
Cold Brew Coffee Maker (64oz)
Coffee used to be a pleasure. Now it's life support.
on Amazon →
KeaBabies Diaper Bag Backpack
Carries everything except your dignity.
on Amazon →
DYMO LetraTag Label Maker
Daycare wants it all labeled. Your villain origin story.
on Amazon →
Humble Crew Toy Storage Organizer
You'll organize them. They'll dump them by 9am. Still worth it.
on Amazon →
Thinkbaby SPF 50+ Sunscreen
The reef-safe SPF wrestling match. Worth every scream.
on Amazon →
HonestBaby Organic Cotton Tees (10-pack)
The $2 tee they'll choose over the $60 dress every single time.
on Amazon →